


The Bed Was Not My Own

by Chocolate_Cigars_and_root_beer



Series: Uh oh baby got into Dang that Ron Paul [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, During Canon, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Have no idea how to write him, I REALLY vaguely imply that Makoto is trans, Inner Dialogue, Internalized Homophobia, It'll become more obvious later but if you wanna read it with that in mind I'd thank ya kindly, Light Angst, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sharing a Bed, Yasuhiro is here but only for a few seconds I love him I just, Yes it is based off a French play yes I am cultured no I won't use grammarly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:20:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23490811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chocolate_Cigars_and_root_beer/pseuds/Chocolate_Cigars_and_root_beer
Summary: Short stories inspired by the concept of the french play La Rounde and the interconnectedness of love! Small and sweet moments that connect one character to the next story so on and so forth! Whether romantic or platonic doesn't matter!
Relationships: Asahina Aoi & Naegi Makoto, Asahina Aoi/Ogami Sakura, Fukawa Touko/Naegi Komaru, Kirigiri Kyoko/Naegi Makoto
Series: Uh oh baby got into Dang that Ron Paul [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1867072
Comments: 4
Kudos: 40





	1. I Will Only Think of Pretty Things

**Author's Note:**

> Ahahaha please someone validate this concept I think it's nice.

The first time he and Kyoko were truly alone, in a place void of cameras, void of the watchful eye of Monokuma, void of danger, was their second night in the hospital they were promptly whisked off to moments after exiting Hope’s Peak. Makoto had snuck out of his room, with surprising ease, dragging his casted foot just behind the rest of his body peering into other darkened rooms until he finally rested upon her’s. Without a knock, he slipped in she periodically rose her attention from whatever paperback she had been given from the gift shop by an especially empathetic nurse before returning once again to the page. 

“Hey.” his voice was hoarse as for the first time that day he realized he hadn’t spoken until then. 

“Hello.” her eyes didn’t shift up to meet his. 

He took a seat resting his foot after spending time on it that he was directly informed against before she decided to speak up once more. 

“Tough break on the leg.” 

“What?” it seemed like an odd thing to say after everything. 

“I meant it’s unfortunate, that it’s only now being treated.” 

Her more casual tone still struck him as odd but with a less impending mystery at hand it seemed fitting “Yeah but the doctor said I was lucky that it was only my foot. Plus Hiro said he was happy that he finally got to sign a cast so at least someone profited.” He used his hand to angle his leg up as to show off Hiro’s message.

Kyoko squinted “What language is that?” 

“I was too scared to ask, I assumed he found a way to speak in tongues through text.” 

“He uses Kanji for two words and then switches to Cyrillic.” she leaned in to catch a better glance at the mess of writing “Then biblical Hebrew. He’s quite the linguist.” she raised her eyebrows in surprise. 

“Well, of course, he slept through the whole tower of Babel thing!” to this for the first time he heard Kyoko laugh for just a second she smiled beyond a smirk and he couldn’t help but feel accomplished “So what were you reading?” 

“Oh, one of Toko’s books, it’s just what the nurse brought.” she flipped it over to the cover, engraved in a faux and peeling gold printed over a deep blue laid a print of hexagons just under in a bold white laid the title and Toko’s name “So Lingers the Ocean,” Kyoko readout proudly.

Recognition struck Makoto “That’s the fisherman one,” it was the only book of her’s that he actually even vaguely knew “So do you have fisherman fever?” 

“Fortunately no not at all.” 

“Not a romance fan?” 

“No I enjoy the romance part just not the fisherman side of things.” 

He cocked his head causing his bangs to drift into his eye line “Why?”

“Romance is assuringly optimistic, that in an irrational world you can find something that makes sense and that something can be another person to share your life with. I find that aspect of it amiable. But fishermen do not strike a chord with me.” 

“Don’t let Toko hear that.” 

“Wasn’t she discharged?” thinking about it now he had watched Toko leave with two women but she had still been dressed in a hospital gown he had taken that as a sign of it simply being a visit. 

“I’m not sure.”

For the first time Kyoko turned to gaze out the window as if this were the first time she realized that she was inside. That after becoming a prisoner a place without large metal plates became practically the same as being outdoors “For all that’s happened it’s nice that Tokoyo’s lights are still on.” she knew barely all of what had occurred in her unaccounted time, the fallen country, the many deaths, the refugees starved of any land to call their own. 

“Yeah.” he kept his gaze trained on her, for the first time it clicked in his head, that she was just a person. It sounded silly but she had glided so lightly on the air that it was easy to forget it was so. But with the light of the city reflecting in her dusty eyes, he noticed the dark circles that seemed almost tattooed upon her pale skin, her arms that seemed a little too thin, the gloves that clashed awkwardly when compared to the oversized hospital gown who’s over-saturated blue did nothing but bring out the purple veins that featured a little too strongly against her porcelain chest and face. She was too a teenager who found herself all alone in a newly empty world. 

“Where do you think we go from here?” he hummed a noise of confusion prompting her to elaborate “We lost two years of our lives, who knows what family we have left, or how we even begin to collect our lives into anything coherent. So how do we begin?”

For someone who always seemed to be one step ahead of him, asking questions as to lead him to an answer this one seemed genuine as if she were now in his place. 

“I guess we try to fix what we can.” he turned his inflection up as if he were asking a question “And attempt to create a better world before the newest generation accepts this as normal.” 

“I suppose.” she turned back to the window “Shouldn’t someone be looking for you?” 

“I was quiet,” this was partially a lie he was as quiet as he could be but that left much to be desired “I can leave if you want.” he had already posed himself to stand.

“No, I just thought it was strange.” she didn’t turn to look at him instead she fiddled with her glove. 

“Do you really sleep in those?” 

Even with how vague his question seemed it clicked immediately “No don’t be ridiculous,” she joked, at least he assumed so her voice had turned odd to his ear for a second “It’s easier to turn pages this way.” 

“Oh,” he decided to leave it there, he couldn’t read her well enough to know if he had crossed a line “Have you seen Togami since yesterday?” 

“No and with any luck I will continue this streak.” he knew that was a joke that at least was progress “It looks like he wasn’t kidding about not talking to us after the game.” 

“I’m sure he’ll cave.” at least Makoto hoped he would “He’ll want a round two with Hina because G-d forbids he swallows his pride.” 

“We can only wait for that day.” she finally made eye contact “What was it that he said to you on the way here?”

“I am not a vessel for your good intent.” he tapped his good foot against the chair leg “He’s too much almost all of the time.” 

“He never learned how to not be so I cannot blame him.” she placed her book on the flimsy side table “Although for being in a class with a serial killer and,” she paused for a beat too long “Celeste, he managed to keep his drama at a surprisingly high level.” 

With the mention of Celeste Makoto snapped out of the sweet and almost intimate moment of watching the stars and speaking to a friend. With the context of the hell they had just exited it all became almost too much for him to. Sitting there and breathing became overwhelming, his mind didn't have enough space for any of this. 

For the first time a boy surveys the damage of his life, the lives he's affected, and the actions that finally lead up to so many final moments and for the first time in his recent memory he cried. 

He had survived hell. He traversed the seven layers and came out marveling at the stars but at what expense? When did his innocence become experience and when did he agree to that trade-off?

He tried to wipe the tears from his face in an attempt to keep the moment he had just lived in going, one where life was before him and still filled with friends. But Kyoko had already noticed and shifted her face to one of sympathy before she moved to the side of her bed and patted the spot just next to her. For just a second he considered turning down her offer, sighting that his cast would take up too much room or that they'd be in bigger trouble if he was caught in a bed with her. But the former would be a lie and the latter didn't truly matter at this point, what was a nurse's disappointment when stacked against everything the two had already been through. 

So he once again attempted to quietly shift his weight onto one foot and limp to what he believed was something better.

He dragged his cast after his body onto the bed next to her and rested his head on her shoulder. He closed his eyes and felt content. For the minority he had been forced into he was given Kyoko. Who had taken to whispering to him, something she could only vaguely remember from her mother's wake. 

"Take from me, I have so much to give." To her it was a sweet sentiment of dependability, that in the end they all had their connections. To Makoto it signified the end of his self-reliance and the beginning of once again trusting. 


	2. I'm Ready

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyoko finds Hina lost in the ocean doubting herself and others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have fun reading and thanks! Remember that you are loved and that you existing makes a difference.

They had met on a day with a cloudless blue sky. Kyoko had made note of that almost immediately upon viewing. There were no more grand battles to fight were there? Just the blue sky slowly creeping back into what she considered to be normal. Life could become simple, she had lost all her memories of a truly simple life. One without the trickery and defeats of those who prided themselves on being truly heartless, one with a small family, with Makoto at her side, the portrait of her grandfather looming over their living room, and the unremarkable blue sky. Today she would meet an old friend at a coffee shop and not think twice about the cost of living. That's what freedom was, living without the constant concern over who she left with every breath. 

While walking she kept her eyes up admiring the sky, making just enough note of the people around her as to avoid their trail. She felt almost foolish remembering the heavily paraphrased quote her Grandfather would hammer into her head whenever she spent a little too long daydreaming as she helped around his office "A man who marvels at the day is much less comrade than a coward." But the sky for the first time in years seemed to extend to the very corners of the Earth blanketing her life in its brilliant hue. 

It was this small indulgence that caused her to miss the stout coffee shop only being brought back to reality by the yell of a short woman. 

"Kirigiri!" Hina waved her hand high above her head using the other one to cup her hand squinting against the bright beams of the sun. 

"Hina." She smiled softly, never one to attempt to match Hina's enthusiasm. 

Hina had quickly pulled her inside ordering the two of them drinks and herself a donut. She was surprised to find Hina still remembered her coffee order, it hadn't changed since they were teens of course but all the same it was almost impressive. Before she actually processed why exactly she got caught on this fact Hina had practically shoved her into a small booth just under a quirky wall hanging of a cat. 

Hina smiled widely almost unnaturally even for herself as if for once she was waiting for Kyoko to begin. Almost set off by this shift in dynamics she remained silent, never one to play into a pre-set scenerio. 

Finally after realizing that she would have to shoot first Hina bent to the awkward silence "So how are you? How's Makoto?" 

"I'm doing well and Makoto is as well. He did always say when his voice dropped he'd be unstoppable." 

"That's right." Hina stirred a little too much sugar into her coffee "I guess he wasn't wrong. Plus the suit isn't half bad." She shrugged. 

"So how are you and," the boyfriend of the week, she could never remember their names they were all a different flavor of bland "Touma." It was an educated guess at best a gut feeling at worse. 

"Tadashi." The tanned woman gave a half-hearted correction "I actually wanted to talk to you about him."   
  
She should've assumed this from Hina's odd behavior at the beginning of their meeting "Ah I see." 

"I'm sorry it's just," she breathed out "We broke up." She slumped into her hand "He said that he had feelings for me but that it didn't seem that I did." 

A record six months Kyoko noted "I'm sorry." 

"I know that this is more Makoto's thing," she waved her hand as if whisking off someone "But I thought it might be nice to talk to another girl and Toko was," she cut herself off before resting her hand on her head for a second "I need to get more friends." She laughed. 

"No I get it." She did not. 

"I just don't get it. I try so hard in these relationships to show I care but they all end up saying the same thing." She took a sip of her coffee "I care about them all and I think they're all great but then they never see that."

"But do you love them as well?" 

"What?" 

"Do you love them, in a real way." 

"I," she folded her arms, "I think so." 

"Do you think it's maybe not you but your choices?" She folded her arms "In partners I mean." 

Hina averted her eyes "I," she rested her face in her palm "I told you this already."

This conversation was one had far too many times for comfort. Hina would assert her lack of attraction to men, the women that filled that absence, then circle back to the fact that she couldn't trust herself in this regard. 

"I know." 

"I'm the only Asahina left, I can't let it end there. Not over some silly crushes." She cast her eyes down "And what would people think." She laughed rather inwardly "What would my parents think? If they were still around they'd never," she made it a habit of not quite finishing her thought. 

"Why does what others think factor into this choice? I doubt anyone's eyes follow you for that reason." Though the interviews had slowed their place in the social conscience hadn't. How could it? Humanity was not one to move on from such awful events such as theirs. 

Hina let out a long breath "I just, what if it's not what I imagined. What if I think it'll make me happy and it just doesn't." 

"What if it does." 

The brunette laughed for just a second "I guess that's the trick." 

"Shouldn't you be kind to yourself? If you're not then who else will be?" 

"You?" 

"Yes," that at least was true "But is that all you want?" 

"It could be enough," she turned her mug around "Enough to live a life I suppose." She could sustain herself with a violet and grey longing. One where she sat in melancholy always wondering if the men she invited into her life loved her not once wondering if she returned that love "Maybe I should get another cat." 

"You don't even like the one you have now." 

"Kiki isn't half bad, she's just annoying!" 

"But is she all you want to return home to." 

The shorter woman sighed "No," she fiddled with the rim of her mug "It’s funny sometimes I have this dream that I wake up in my apartment but there's this beautiful woman. She's funny and strong and she's making tea. For that time I feel calm and like myself again." 

"That sounds nice."

"It is," she smiled for just a moment "But it's just ridiculous. Dream me can live like that because she doesn't have expectations and history." 

Something clicked, far too late for the ultimate detective, but all the same it snapped into place. Sakura and the fact Hina swore she only confided in Kyoko. That Sakura was her first and only real love. 

She extended a gloved hand in return Aoi traced circles in her palm. With a delicate touch she changed the shape occasionally but her hand remained fixed on a single spot. Tears welled in her eyes and didn't cease simply tilted her head up and attempted to soothe herself with some thoughts. 

"Do you think life will ever go back to just being normal."

That was a question she had never posed to herself, she didn't come from normal so longing for that seemed like a long shot. But now an introduction to normal didn't seem so bad, an introduction to the effervescent blue sky. 

But the blue sky wasn't going to replace the negative space of the adolescence that had been torn from them all "I," Hina looked hopeful, her blue eyes sparkling in the stream of warm spring light, her chin rested high, and for a second she looked exactly as she had the first time they met. Scared and alone. Not the optimist she had come to know. How could she lie to that girl? "I don't think we get to have normal lives anymore." The circles in her palm stopped "But I don't think that's a bad thing. Not for us at least." 

The ex-swimmer flashed a meek smile before retracting her hand "What's that supposed to mean?" She laughed through tears her eyebrows scrunching together.

"I think well," for the first time she was at a loss for words "If we were to go back to living a normal life we'd find it far more confusing than the one we currently have. We've adapted to adapt back would be extremely difficult." Someone had once told her that was the only way to survive but scanning her memory she drew a blank. 

The lost look vanished from Hina's face as she began tracing circles again "Ya know I used to ask Makoto to pretend to be my boyfriend so I could practice talking boys." 

It was a strange change of subject but she followed it "Really?" She couldn't help but laugh. 

"Yeah!" She echoed the laugh "I really thought if I really practiced everything would just click and I would be normal and be able to truly love some guy."

"Did it work?" 

Hina knew only three things to be true. The first being that a child will always sing off-key even if it's slight, the second being that there's a key to every door, and the third being that she had never loved or had a crush on a man. Taking one of these simple truths she spoke "No. It didn't." And for the first time she felt truly seen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tik tok is jewtinaxtreme so if you know me from there... Hi


	3. We Were the Lucky Ones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hina learns her brother's fate and is struck from the sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to write around the fact that this absolutely doesn't adhere to the timeline but fuck it you know also idk if you noticed but this is not on a strict timeline I'm hopping around :)

She barely knew Komaru. She had heard so many stories of her from Makoto, he always got this distant look in his eyes when speaking of her starry-eyed he'd smile saying that he wished he had been a little nicer to her. That was a sentiment they both shared. She had always teased Yuta, lovingly of course, but never once did she get to say all he meant to her. As unlikely as it seemed she hoped for the two of them to be out there. That Junko didn't dispose of them for her twisted plan, that her motive video was as untrue as the world that was offered to her if she were to simply get away with a single murder. She wondered where he could be, news still traveled rather fast surely he'd know of her emergence. But she didn't hear of Yuta first, it was Komaru. Makoto had called frantically saying that Komaru was alive and strangely enough with Toko.

No word from Yuta. But if a girl can be missing for three years and come back alive and kicking surely he could too. He had always been the stronger one. If she survived she had no doubt he had as well. But only one sibling was heard from for days. Days into weeks, and weeks into a month all mounting into one final killing game. 

As she ran with Makoto strewn upon her back she had one thought as if she were a drug-sniffing dog; Yuta. She used to carry him just like this. If this was the last killing game then what did she have to fear after her survival? This event as bloody as it may be as scarring as it may be for her, it marked the end of any plan the remnants could have made. The beginning of a new life and the search for the last family member she even had an inkling of a doubt for their unbeating heart. 

While in the game she laid eyes on Komaru for the first time in her new memory. Displayed on the screen of the ally she would've sworn she had. She smiled for just a moment looking at her. The confidence she held her bright smile, the slight crook of her nose. The world made sense looking at her. This normal girl did the extraordinary carrying Toko along the way. But before she could truly understand all that this meant static took over and soon she stared at herself in the blank screen. Her eyes focused on a normal woman who had done the extraordinary who carried none of the confidence and none of the tact that she ought to. 

She told Makoto that he was a good brother, he replied as if he believed Yuta was dead he stumbled over his words for many seconds. He was missing, just missing nothing more nothing less. Right? She wavered on her beliefs for just a moment before stalling herself and turning to Makoto once again. She hadn't then pieced together all of the context clues she had been given. The call of Toko crying before she hung up, Makoto's words that leaned too heavily on an assumption, the pity everyone carried in their eyes for her. They had all assumed that she would have caught on but ever the optimist she mistook their heavy-handed clues as odd but never as a prompt. She would wait for the transparent disclosure of his death not a redirection trick that left her to fill in the empty space. 

So she guarded her hope for Yuta. Even days after the end of her despair she occasionally caught a glimpse of him on the street walking a dog, at her gym using far too many weights, outside the street just below her window. But when she went to look again he disappeared into just another face. She started marking these sightings in her calendar trying to make sense of this pattern. But there wasn't one. He popped up sporadically and without meaning. 

That was before the Naegi reunion at least. An event that she was awkwardly invited to, all of the survivors were. Toko denied, Togami deferred to some event whose name she couldn't remember. Which left the other four and a newcomer. She decided to show up late, fashionably late of course, but late all the same. She never liked being the first one to an event it seemed almost intrusive. 

She caught Hiro at the door tying his hair up. He shot her a sympathetic look nodding instead of saying hello.

She returned the nod. His fallen eyes didn't catch her off guard, he never knew how to emote appropriately for a situation. She had assumed this to be nothing more than an acknowledgment of her stride. He never really knew when to emote, but just every so often he happened to be right. 

He quickly shuffled past without shouting a goodbye. 

Walking into the eclectic living room that Makoto had so clearly decorated all by himself a strange air covered its four inhabitants. The two Naegis gave her the same small smile, Kyoko shuffled her hands and eventually gestured to the extra chair which housed far too many pillows. 

She adjusted her back, noting the scoliosis she was surely developing as she shifted to accommodate the heart-shaped pillow. 

Komaru waved "Hello! I'm Komaru if you didn't assume so." They had met once before but hadn't exchanged too many pleasantries. Thinking of it she wasn't sure Komaru had ever said her own name. 

"Hina if you also didn't assume so." She smiled "I heard you've been running around Towa City with Toko." 

The taller girl chuckled "Yeah something like that." 

"I salute you, I know how much of a pain she can be." 

"Oh she's not half bad once you learn how to deal with all her Toko-ness." She scrunched the bottom of her uneven bob. 

"Yeah but I think we all know how long that takes." She played this joke towards Makoto who smiled so weakly too weakly for his own good "What's wrong you guys look like you've seen a ghost?" 

At this everyone tensed up and reading the room Aoi followed suit. 

"Well there's no way to say this but," she paused attempting to buy just one more second for herself as if a miracle may happen before she had to finish her sentence "Do you know a Yuta?" Komaru knew the answer, but she begged for it not to be so.

But Hina unaware felt a rush of relief, news of her brother was coming, an answer for her mind on those long and empty nights "Yeah that's my brother!" She couldn't help but light up. 

This only furthered the pain on the new Naegi's face "Well the thing is," the wave of relief that had once flooded her body turned to a hurricane and suddenly dread and doubt crept in "I don't know how to say this," a respectful announcement of deaths was something new to her and all the same it seemed wrong like a glove from the winter before that doesn't give enough stretch to its fingers "He well," 

Hina listened to the young woman trip over her words for a little too long before she filled in her answer "He's dead isn't he?" Her words were a little too blunt. But they had already stalled for far too long. 

Komaru nodded looking as if she were on the verge of tears. Because she was this was a shared tragedy after all. 

The tanned girl tilted her head back attempting to keep in her tears "How did it happen?" She needed to know, have that small bit of closure. 

"He was trying to escape Towa City with Toko and I. Toko tried to stop him but," she breathed out "He said it wasn't too far of a swim."

And with that small detail she raised her hand as if to signal to stop. He drowned, he drowned in an attempt to break free. That was a death drowned in a sickly sweet irony one that she was used to but all the same hateful of. The world span and she felt every moment of the plates every time they collided and slid "I think I should leave." 

"Oh I," Makoto spoke for the first time "Do you need help getting up." 

She nearly rolled her eyes at that notion. But when he was right he was right. Upon standing her knees promptly buckled her palms became clammy and a tension migraine began. She felt Makoto's arm around her shoulder, his hands were soft against her toughened skin. He booted his legs down to the floor and leaned with her body. 

"I don't think you're ready for the train yet." He whispered as if not to make a scene in his very private living room "Lay down here first at least. Please?" 

She had no option really, Makoto couldn't hold her up until she returned to her apartment and Hiro and his cushy car were long gone. Leaving her with a single option. Laying down and thinking of the one piece of a family she couldn't even fathom being gone.

It was far too bizarre. She could handle venomous wristbands, begin to understand digital rehabilitation, even accept that this was all put in motion by one teenage girl. But Yuta? Yuta being dead made no sense. Her kid brother, the boy who she had just brought to his first track meet, the boy who cheered far too loudly for her, the boy who's voice hadn't even dropped yet. Dead in the water. 

In the darkened guest room Makoto had continued his eccentric decor. She stared back at a small wooden cat statue sat just across from the bed high on a shelf. Pious almost, looking down on the woman who lost everything but her pride. Perhaps it was an unhealthy knack for personification or anger sparked from grief but she came to hate it. Who did he think he was? To judge her at a time like this. She almost found the motivation to get up and turn it around. But her legs remained limp and she remained a full shell. She was torn of her title, her pride, and her blood in a land of kings. How could she even begin to justify wasting her time on a cat that she thought was just a little too smug? This was a back and forth that was all too long before a small knock landed itself against the door. 

A flood of artificial light forced itself in painting the bougie cat in a soft yellow and now she could see it's soft smile and round eyes. Suddenly a hatred for this fake cat seemed silly, suddenly she seemed daft to think of this now. 

Makoto's shadow laid itself against the cold wooden floor. She traced it up to his silhouetted figure she could just barely make out his face, they made brief painful eye contact before he pretended to spot something just behind her. 

"The last train leaves in," another shadow obscured the yellow light "We're fine with you staying here,"

"I just want to know if I should set up on the couch." Komaru's voice rang at far too high of a pitch for her ear at the moment, it was too sweet in its effortless soprano for the life she was living. 

"I," she went to answer that she was fine and that she would catch the train but she choked on the words "Yeah I'll," she met Makoto's eyes again "I'll stay." 

"Do you want company?" She recognized Kyoko's voice and just for a second wondered why she was here so close to the last train leaving. But then it hit her, they had moved in together. In the wake of nearly losing her life and the sight of one eye she had decided to begin a new life. Hina would've followed her lead, hell she had. Sure she had no lover to move in with and barely a friend in the world beyond those who she was made to doubt their intent on her life but she had begun to move again. She had just started watching the sunrise for the first time since the tragedy. That small step was enough. But then suddenly she was knocked back, pushed down after her first shaky steps.

At this realization she fell silent, her eyes dropped to the yellow beam that was now stained with shadows. She saw them shift waiting on an answer she found herself unable to give. Finally one detached itself sitting down next to her on the still made bed. She didn't rise to meet his eyes she was locked into her own head unable to even move her eyes. How could she move on with so much of her life left to catch up on? How did she begin to appreciate living when she didn't even know what plot she would unwillingly be written into. 

Makoto sighed before dropping his head as well. Slowly the pollution of the yellow strayed away until its brilliance was on full display. She focused on the light waiting for her old friend to speak first, for him to draw first. But they remained in a companionable silence for a measure too long. 

Makoto slowly raised his head brushing the fringe from his face peering out into the hallway. For a moment he seemed startled when he found nobody waiting for him. He twisted his neck to look back at his friend and gave the weakest smile she had ever seen on his face. Perhaps close to the middle he realized now was not the time for a grin. She returned the smile although she wasn't particularly eager to. 

"I love you, I hope you know that." He clamped her shin giving it a small shake. 

"I know." Her eyes began to tear up, she couldn't remember the last time someone had said that to her "I love you too." She choked on her final words. 

"Oh Hina," He moved closer to her extending his arms out for a hug she moved in resting her head on his shoulder. Time melted in those moments, she could've stayed there for a few minutes or a few days. There was a certain aura that Makoto carried with himself that she could never place. He made her feel at home, he felt like her old home and her hope for the future all in one. He felt like a brother, not the one she believed she had done anything to deserve but one she had all the same. The only brother she had left in the world. 

"You're just like him, you know." She hadn't thought of the words before speaking them but they rang true in her head all the same. 

He didn't reply, he simply rubbed circles into her back. 

"I love you too." She whispered this part into his t-shirt as if she were trying to bury this secret into the mixed cotton fabric "Did Komaru tell you anything more?" She had stopped the girl before she could speak any more truths.

"Only that he was kind as the day is long and that he barely knew her but he risked everything to help her." 

She squeezed her eyes shut as tightly as she could "That sounds like him." That hadn't changed, she couldn't help but wonder what did change then? Did he finally grow taller than her? Had he finally grown out that annoying bowl-cut? Did he get over his habit of eating a little too much sweet bean jelly for his own good? Maybe he could finally beat her 100m time. 

But she could never know. She wished she could have gone back to that morning, she would've gone back to sleep, never set foot near Komaru. Then she could have always wondered what if? Lead her life in a hazy ignorance as everyone pointed her to the obvious answer. She could have lived happily enough like that. Catching her brother for brief moments, making eye contact with someone who looked a little too like him before he quickly looked down, hearing his bad singing from the apartment above her, those events were enough for her. Enough for her to hold on to her brother. Hold on to the idea that she may have one blood connection left in this world. No parents, no brother, hell not even the stray aunt or uncle, she carried a name that had once carried such pride and resolve. But when left in her arms it's past rubbed off. 

"I don't think I can do this." Since the tragedy she had always had a full plate but never once did it seem so overwhelming. This drove the final nail into her coffin and revealed the cracks in the foundation she hadn't been informed of until the house collapsed. 

Makoto pulled away holding her shoulders square "You don't have to." 

She laughed for a moment before meeting his cloudy hazel eyes again "What?" 

"We're safe now Hina, we don't have to expedite our grief." He let go of one of her shoulders "You have time, we all have time." 

And at those words she collapsed like a house of cards caught in a hurricane. Only now did it hit her, almost stupidly she thought, she couldn't remember saying goodbye to Yuta. What memories of him did she lose? Someone had pulled the string of her tapestry and sent the narrative of her life splintering out all bidding for her attention and help to mend them. But without a teacher standing over her shoulder she was unaware of where to begin and how to tie the knot. All this time and no direction. 

She found herself at Makoto's side once again sobbing. She told herself to snap out of it, that she didn't have time for this. But she did. All she had was time. He had guaranteed her that small gift. 

She laid down resting her head in his lap he rubbed her shoulder and just for a second she felt truly comfortable. As if her soul was endless, just an extension of the sweetly scented air, and the slight hum of the air conditioner. She closed her eyes, they had grown so tired from crying. She hadn't bothered to ask for the time exactly and so she remained in a place without it and happily so. 

For a moment life was bliss and she finally released the tension between her brows. 

But then she woke up alone. 

She was such a light sleeper she was close to applauding Makoto for being able to sneak out without waking her. He was kind like that and just careful enough to fulfill his plans. 

Just before she could truly appreciate Makoto's work the dryness of her mouth stole her attention. She hadn't gotten herself a glass of water like she usually did due to the rushed nature of the first act of their meeting. She searched for a clock but there wasn't one to be seen. Funny Makoto provided a guest with a smug cat statue and a bed set that she thought resembled an especially eccentric art teacher's poster but not a clock. She'd test her luck and attempt to sneak out without bothering Makoto and Kyoko just across the hall. Once she had completed that she sauntered on believing that the hardest part was over. Not remembering Komaru, she had wanted to set her and the news she brought far from her life. 

But when she reached the living room there she was sat below a yellow-tinted lap mindlessly scrolling on her phone. 

Hina attempted to sneak past, hoping that whatever the younger girl had kept her mind preoccupied would keep her attention for the few seconds she had to cross her path. But her luck had run out as she met Komaru's grey eyes. 

"Oh, I-" she felt an obligation to fill the silence that connected the two. She felt her heart fall in-between her feet. Even looking at her dug a nail into her unhealed wound. 

"Hi." She pressed her thumb down onto her screen unintentionally. 

"I'm just gonna get water." She immediately attempted to remove herself from the girl's presence. Funny when she had first met her just after the final killing game she had imagined becoming friends with the girl. Noting how sweetly she spoke, how softly she smiled, how brave she seemed even without doing much. Reminding her of someone she had known. 

She had turned her back before the other occupant spoke "I was wondering if I could talk to you actually. If you don't want to I understand it's just, I feel awful." 

"Yeah sure." She had no real reason to say no. Not one she could justify to herself.

As she poured herself a cup of water in the darkened kitchen she attempted to find one. But she was neither tired nor did she have anywhere to be at this, she searched for a clock, three o’clock in the morning. 

She turned on her heel and for a moment watched the younger sister she had never been alone with. She watched the girl with her natural habits. She pulled at her face and smiled down at her phone. She seemed so normal, with her clearly self-cut hair and her round cheeks. Removed from the context of her extraordinary actions and the hate Hina had unfairly based upon her she was just as much a flawed and beautiful figure as the next. 

She made sense. She had her remaining innocence and the experience she had earned from losing the majority of it. Just as the rest of them did. 

She hung onto this moment before finally exiting the kitchen and taking a seat on the hastily made couch who tried and failed to parade itself as a bed. 

Before she could set her ice water down Komaru pulled her in for a tight hug. She spilled some and felt it soak into the stretch material of her shirt. She didn't pull away though. Lingering in the embrace of someone who shared the grief of her brother felt nice. Genuine almost for a change. 

"I know I barely know you but," she rubbed a triangle into her companion's back "I want you to know that I really appreciate you looking out for my brother. I just wish I could have done the same for you." 

"Thank you." She wanted nothing more but to have the ability to command beautiful words to describe all the pain and all this meant to her. That she shared this sentiment without sounding as if she blamed the girl

Komaru changed the shape she chose to trace into Aoi's back. A heart replaced the triangle and then a rhombus took its place. "He spoke very highly of you. You are the best big sister you can be. You always will be. Nothing can take that from you." 

She has never thought of it like that, the idea that she would always be an older sister, not even death could stop her. Stop the DNA that set her in a line up filled with those long gone and those who were not as fortunate as she. 

Her cup of water began to shake she felt her hands trembling but she never parted from the hug once. Didn't think to at least. 

Komaru would be the first to loosen her grip. With a steady hand she brushed Hina's fringe from her eyes. She then turned to face starboard pulling her legs up to her chest and draped a blanket over her legs. She lifted the other end of the fuzzy material offering it to her new friend who quickly accepted and mirrored her pose. 

The brunette leaned on the shoulder of the girl she had previously forgotten of, the girl she had put in a spot in her mind that she nearly began to blame the girl for her brother's death. She understood now how ridiculous that was of her. Blame couldn't be placed on a person here, at least not one she had been told of.

She would make an ocean of her heart. Perhaps it would swallow her whole. Perhaps she would tread water forever. Or just maybe she learns to ride the waves, meet the shore and gaze upon the endless sea and sky. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment I'm lonely over here :( Unless it's about this not making sense in the timeline cause I know let me vibe


	4. Alcyone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When asked to return to her childhood home Komaru feels unfulfilled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ughhhhh this was hard to write just out of writer's block ya know? Welp either way enjoy!

It was funny how a house never really lost its distinct smell. It's easy to forget the smell of one's own house and far too easy to leave that fact unappreciated. But in the small studio flat she had been brought to after her kidnapping Komaru had grown a yearning for it. To be allowed to fully relax and feel as if she belonged somewhere. But when the days started to bleed into each other essentially wiping a year into a blurry mess leaving her unable to view her changed self she began to yearn for the similarity of herself. For the life she used to lead whether it was contained in the three-bedroom house she had grown to know or not. Escape and distance from this strange reality would reunite herself with the girl she used to be or at least that's what she needed to believe.

But after a rather eventful escape from Towa City and being caught in what resembled a war zone more than the country she had known who she was sat far from her mind. 

But in a hotel that became more like a hell than any place to lodge she caught a glimpse of herself. Of course she had a mirror while trapped but that world was so disconnected it never really seemed fully real to her. But now there was nothing that wasn't real. She had to face her reality.

Just a normal girl in a uniform for a high school she had never gone to, running to keep up with a near stranger who somehow made her feel safe within this all. A normal girl who didn't quite look like her. Maybe the bags under her eyes dragged her down a little too much, the bruises that tinged her skin were out of place to say the least, the pink blood clashed with her hair, and the way she carried herself seemed a little too firm for who she had been. For a second she didn't recognize herself. In that moment she pushed on with the whispers of a return to familiarity. 

But that simple promise never came true. Even as the commotion of her daily life slowed the expected return to herself never quite came. Reunification with her brother didn't bring her back as well, then the signing of a lease with Toko failed, another birthday passed coupled with a graduation that offered her nothing but an empty hand. 

News of her parent's demise came as a shock. Of course she had come to think of them as past figures in her life whose influence would stay with her even if physically they could not but the confirmation of that being the only way she could view them was disheartening. With this news though came the curious fact that their family home remained standing and vacant. No one really had the time to move after all so its vacancy was not too surprising. But the fact that the small three-bedroom remained standing was truly a miracle of modern architecture. 

"I don't know what looters would have taken but I think it would be nice for you to go there before we figure out what to do with it." 

"Are you going to go?" She silently prayed he would agree, he was the only person she would want to share this event with, an event she couldn't imagine going to alone. 

"I don't," he pretended to fiddle with papers as if he were checking a schedule "I don't think I can." He wasn't lying, he couldn't go back to that house he feared if the walls were barren it all may fully hit him or even if the walls were still decorated that he may see his Mother's soft gaze and completely unravel. 

"Oh okay, if it's still there do you want anything." 

"Dad's watch maybe?" His father had promised him that watch once he graduated and if he were not sentimental he wasn't sure how he would live. 

"Yeah sure." She fiddled with her skirt "Anything else?" 

"I don't think so if you see something you think I might want just grab it."

"Yeah sounds like a plan then." 

She hung up and carefully scratched the date Makoto had given her on the calendar. 

She let life drift by until then her visit to a past residency anchored her life and provided form. She almost liked it; the idea of having somewhere important to go that wasn't related to her work. When she didn't think of it too much it was exciting. But when she allowed herself to think of it for more than a passing moment her giddy turned to grief. If she couldn't rekindle the spirit she had carried before her kidnapping then could she ever? She looked for a home within herself but now she had been served it on a plate. The gateway to her past. If this didn't fulfill her then hell maybe nothing would. 

Toko had insisted on trailing behind her the day of, sticking to her shadow as if it were her only refuge from the autumn sun. 

Property management had given her a shiny key, no fun design, nothing painted on the top, like the one she had been given by her mother on her first day of middle school. Toko claimed it to be childish of her to expect this flair as no one within the firm knew this small and inconsequential story. All the same, disappointment seeped up as she looked down at the shiny gold metal. 

Armed with her boxes, the new key, and an author who proved herself to be quite useful when it came to carrying storage materials. She pushed forward through the empty streets. She attempted to fill the time by looking around trying to see if any old neighbors had decided to stay. But all she retrieved from this search was the eyes of a small child. She sat in the frame of a window following the two women closely with her eyes. As if it were her only job. 

"Aren't you supposed to carry some boxes?" Toko's words snapped her out of her trance and caused her to break eye contact with her young observer. 

"It's not that many plus we're almost at the house either way." She rubbed the side of the freshly made key. 

"Sure." Toko rolled her eyes. 

The whining back and forth went on for the rest of the walk both attempting to outwit each other with nicknames that weren't quite as funny heard than said. Until finally she arrived at the door she had stood before countless times. The door she had been carried through as an infant and subsequently dragged from as a teenager. Deep scars ingrained themselves into the landscaping and even the siding of the house and yet somehow the door remained pristine. She let the doorknob linger in her grasp. Nothing prepared her for this moment, for standing on the edge of her life and her worth. Everything she had known for fourteen years, everything she had when she was herself. 

She let this brief moment extend itself, let it lay on her chest. Reveling in this second of uncertainty that she controlled all the same. Her destiny laid in her hand. Whether she turned to Toko stating that it was simply too much or entering and facing whatever years of war and looting had done to her family's last heirloom was entirely by her own whim. 

Slowly she turned the knob. Her stomach knotted as she entered the genkan. It was already not as she had remembered it to be. In the place of her Father's dark leather work shoes glass scattered itself upon the light wood flooring. Toko ducked in quickly before shutting the door. There was no going back now. 

She reached back to grab Toko's hand only then realizing how clammy they had grown. When fully submerged in this scenario she focused her eyes to the beams of light that plugged themselves through the top of the water but it all seemed so distant. The blue sky was now miles away; as foreign to her life as the Tagalog her Mother had attempted to place on her tongue at the small table that was now thrown closer to the door then she remembered it to be. But she lost any idea of which way was up. Unable to tell what would heal her and what would damn her. So she floated deeper and deeper as pressure built on her chest. 

She tip-toed into their living room. The broken window had seemed to change from the last time she had seen this room. But she was being dragged out kicking and screaming perhaps it had been broken during the invasion and she had just not taken note of it. Cushions were torn and strewn across the floor and almost none of the furniture she recalled remained in its proper place. She could understand that, or at least understand that with the years of change that this house though remaining fixed on its foundation was stripped clean of any comforts it had once housed. Silently she turned around taking in every small crack that had formed, the small creek of the floorboard as she shifted her weight, the fact that her grandmother's painting that had sat on the far wall was absent. 

She had once heard a story of a woman thrown into the ocean who also couldn't tell which way was up. She had let out a breath and followed the bubbles up as they ascended. This Lazarus like stunt had stuck with her, cheating death and escaping the claws of dangerous waters with what gave you the very life you protected seemed empowering and beautiful. She had whispered this story to the empty air of the studio apartment often, vowing that she too would follow the bubbles and once again break onto the surface. But the waters had grown too dark to even see where to follow. She wasn't Lazarus, no, she didn't get a miracle. She in place received the cold ocean water, the stinging of the saltwater in her eyes, and the pressure slowly building upon her. At least that's all she could think of as the dark blue waves crashed below her.

With nothing to collect she strayed from Toko who had taken to putting the couch back to its rightful form. The effort though sweet was rather useless. Soon everything would be cleared out and the movers wouldn't care whether the cream coloured cushions were neatly placed or not. 

She wished that she had just turned back at the door. That was her first regret when she reached the kitchen. It was untouched. A fine layer of dust had accumulated making it clear that she was the first person to step foot in this room in years. The person proceeding her must have been her mother. That seemed right, she had made eggs that morning. Komaru had heard her singing while she did, some Filipino song that she would scold her daughter for pronouncing incorrectly. Leaning in the doorway she remained unsure of if she wanted to continue her search or if she wanted to allow her Mother to keep her title as the last Naegi to step foot in this kitchen. It was tempting the thought of honouring her Mother in this small moment giving the matriarch final say on what this room's legacy would be. But she couldn't help herself, the need to see what managed to stay intact was far too strong. Cabinets doors drew askew their once eggshell white frames dirtied with the grime of the war zone they had once inhabited. She felt inclined to clean it fearing her mother's reaction to the now tarnished particleboard. But no one was coming home, not any time soon at least. No one was there to chastise her spare the few drugstore beetles who attempted to salvage what little spoiled food remained in the ruins of what had once been a family home. The little life they brought was left unacknowledged as a paper blew softly in the air catching the girl's hazel eyes. Staring back at her were a set of two eyes decaying along with the paper they were painted onto, she recognized them as her own. A family portrait from just before Makoto had even been accepted to Hopes Peak. An era that seemed so ideal and so far away now. Was she imagining it or was the green in her eyes just a little more vibrant in the photo? 

Staring into the rolling waves of the Prussian blue waters she gulped in breaths as if anticipating how the salt of the sea would fill her lungs leaving no room for the air she had been born to. Perhaps she couldn't pull a Lazarus stunt but she could be Alcyone throwing herself into the grief below before whatever G-d came and took pity on her. She could burst from the sea a phoenix her wings bestowed to her by divine power. Her and her lover flying wing by wing. All she had to do was jump and expect her mercy. Her vision doubled almost comically she swayed instinctively grabbing to the metallic railing just next to her. All she had to do was let go, stop attempting to remain a land dweller. She could swim the sea and graze the sky. If she could only let her hand slip from the railing and let her body fall. She just had to first let go. 

Toko had dragged her back to the living room showing off her work on the couch restoration. Bits of fabric remained ripped and grime still littered the smooth service but for all their struggles the many parts became cohesive. 

"It looks nice Toko." 

"E-Really?" 

"Yeah." She wrapped an elegant hand around the other woman's waist feeling her tense underneath her grasp for just a second before relaxing again "I should go grab my things. Before the sun goes down ya know?" This was a cheap excuse for her rush. 

"Just after I fi-f- got the couch done?" 

"I didn't plan for you to do this I wouldn't have organized the meeting for six if I did." This was partially a lie, Toko's efforts on the couch though cute did very little to qualm Komaru's anxieties of her torn home "Could you go to my parent's room? See if there's a watch in there?" 

"Where is it?" Oh yeah Toko didn't grow up here.

She pointed a single finger down the hall "It's the last room." Not waiting for an answer she quickly shuffled to her old room. 

The moment before hitting the water is a gift. Caught between the sky and sea there's almost a sense of flying. Could she be flying? Her eyelids grew heavy slowly shutting as the salt-infused air held them down. Her lungs take in one sharp breath just a moment too late. Saltwater stings her delicate lungs as she sinks further down. Her eyes open in shock to see nothing but the empty space she had once occupied. Soon she'll return her wings dragging brilliantly behind her feathered body. But nothing happens. 

Her old room was a sight to be beheld. Torn posters of Maizono her eyes x'd outlined the walls. The large hand me down black bookshelf lined with the manga she had planned to read. The displaced bed and desk were the least of her concerns; what struck her was the remnants of a fire that occupied the flooring and the vandalized wall. "Hope died with the student council." red paint dripped down the cream wall leaving the scratched paint patched. The same person must've graffitied Sayaka's image their shaky hand made their statement seem nearly comical. Did they survive the tragedy? Or were they not as lucky? Their life intertwined with her but while she remained protected within the walls of the foundation and the small luck of her life their's continued outside of her bubble. She didn't want anything here. That was painfully clear. The house didn't smell like home anymore, void maybe the couch, it didn't look like home anymore, she didn't recognize this place. Had she outgrown it or had it simply abandoned her in the waters with nothing but a basket and a blanket. 

She pushed past the door, fuck this place, fuck its battered walls, it's ripped portraits, it's mockery of her life, and fuck that watch. Her feet carried her out to the back patio and soon her body collapsed on the scratchy edge of concrete that lead down to the patch of grass. She could see now the purple and orange painted sky. How long had she been here? She had assumed minutes but maybe it teetered on hours. Being stuck in her head didn't help account for her lost time. The autumn air chilled the tip of her nose and she slumped against the glass door. 

"Deku?" A frail voice called "Dekumaru?" The second call rang more shrill than its sister. She remained silent though before knocking once on the pavement "You're supposed to answer people." The taller woman shot her an unamused glance. 

"It's less fun that way." She shimmied her shoulder slightly eliciting an eye-roll. 

'I- Is this the watch?" She held out a blank clock face spare for four numbers and two black hands. The clock nestled itself between two thick straps of leather, worn from years on its owner's wrist.

"Holy shit," her mouth hung slightly ajar "I can't believe it's still here!" She held out a delicate hand to hold this newly discovered treasure.

"You're welcome." 

"I was getting to that part!" 

"Did we come all this way for a watch? I carried those boxes for nothing!" The purple-haired girl took a seat. 

"Do you want my copies of ' Demon Angel Pretty Pudgy Princess'?" she gave a half-smile at the shake of a head "Yeah that's what I thought. I don't know what I was expecting to find here." She yawned, getting used to a normal schedule was rather difficult after spending years as a nocturnal being, silently she rested her head on her partner's shoulder and hummed the tune to a lullaby not saying the words she was certain she would mispronounce "Makoto used to sit here and watch me play fetch with Kino." It was a funny memory to recount in her head but didn't quite land when spoken.

"Didn't he play with the dog too?" 

"No Mom said he had to watch me because I sometimes got too competitive."

"At fetch?" 

"She only wanted to do what was best for us. But I think she just didn't want Kino to be a sore loser." This remark garnered a watery laugh.

The light at the top of the ocean grew dim and the pressure on her body rose. Had it ever been there? Or was that a dream. Maybe her body had always belonged to the streams and rivers and ocean. She closed her eyes content with this chilling isolation, she could live alone. But as she accepted what she believed she had earned a gentle hand scooped her from her new home, sheltered her in its palm, and lifted her to the shore. Her arms extending out to be wings she flapped them as a precaution before looking to see who had saved her. No one stood in the water but her reflection. With no one left to thank but herself she took to the wing ascending to the sky with her lover en route. Lady luck had smiled upon her and gave her the blessing of a new home found in company. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Entering group chats only to say *Turns into a minion* "Bello" is the funniest thing to me currently. Try it out.


	5. The Price of Lineage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an argument about wedding dates Toko and Togami reconcile their shared past. Toko realizes he was never what she needed. He realizes no one he was raised to want is what he needs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a lil mean so if Togami isn't mean enough I blame me being a baby. Anyway hope y'all enjoy you get TWO internalized homophobia plots! Love you!

"You can't all be humouring this?" 

Nearly everyone drew in a sharp breath, this could not go anywhere good. 

"I'm sorry humouring what exactly?" Ocean blue eyes squinted into his soul.

To this the blonde man rolled his eyes "Oh you know," he pushed his spectacles further along the bridge of his nose "The weddings not for another seven months can we rely on Asahina really bringing her plus one?" 

Makoto quickly locked eyes with Toko, she returned his gaze. The both of them attempting to distance themselves from the boiling pot. 

"Oh come on Togami!" She scoffed "It's been almost two years!" 

"You've had so many flings like this though. This isn't about the amount of time rather your reliability." 

"Oh fuck off Togami!" 

"So mature Asahina, I bring up a valid point! Do I not?" He shot his glance to Hiro who was so unfortunate as to not have been preoccupied.

The tall man let out an awkward laugh, his eyes begging for lady luck to smile down on him, but unfortunately she was tending to another sky "I... Well ya know?" 

Togami rolled his eyes "I don't know what I expected." Yasuhiro sighed in relief finally freed from this awkward encounter. 

"I know why you have such a problem with her." The swimmer narrowed her eyes "You know too. I'm not going to say it because I respect you." 

"Intimidation won't work right now." 

"Repression is a finite aphrodisiac. You should learn that." 

"You're clearly one to talk. When do you think you'll run out?" 

At this retort as elementary as it was the shorter woman's face fell "I changed you know that, it's," she put down her impassioned mask and seemed genuinely hurt "It's different." 

"Byakuya I think," 

Makoto's soft tenor was soon cut off with his fiance's cooler Alto "You've said enough." The metal accents on her glove clicked against the light wood table "Our invitation for Ume still stands." 

"And of course if you want to bring someone Togami-" 

"That won't be necessary." 

"Are you sure I mean it's not unti-" 

Once again the brunette was cut off "I won't be needing an extra guest." Silently making the decision to plan around one more, just in case. 

"Thank you." The shorter woman laid her hands in her lap. 

Chatter droned on about the wedding, Toko had never been one to have much interest in colour schemes or flavours of cake so she let the conversation pass her by. Instead of thinking of lace trims her mind instead chose to focus on one small comment 

_ "I know why you have such a problem with her. I'm not going to say it because I respect you."  _

What could Aoi know of Togami that no one else here could? Though he was a closed book and annoyingly cold at times when he did choose to speak on himself it wasn't likely to be kept a secret. Surely if he did have a secret Aoi wouldn't be the sole bearer of, they barely managed to tolerate each other let alone grow close enough to have that bond of silence. She knew as much of Byakuya as humanly possible given his reputation, her years of obsession had led to an unhealthy amount of knowledge on the heir. Now she questioned exactly how extensive her knowledge on him could be. 

In her hazy ignorance of her surroundings her vacant body was left slumped forward balanced on her left elbow and staring directly at Togami. He shifted uncomfortably a few times before pulling a face that made her snap out of her trance. Talk of colour schemes who'd be attending and then to a slow devolvement of the legality of the marriage within Japanese law then of inviting war criminals to a wedding were cut short with Makoto excusing himself to pick up dinner after realizing the time. 

Hiro was the first to break from the table saying his leg had fallen asleep and a walk was probably best, Hina mumbled something about needing to take a call she didn't even attempt to fake. Kyoko soon followed after not making any excuses just escaping from the awkward air that always seemed to build in the absence of the true glue of their group. 

Toko shot a fairly awkward look towards the blond before averting her eyes again. 

"You know Makoto's g- gonna save you a plus one eit- either way." Though her stutter had improved it always came back in full force when attempting to tell a joke or when speaking to Byakuya. Unfortunately she was attempting both. 

"Well that decision is his, I suppose. It's wasteful of him, that's not my fault." 

She quickly went on the defense "I- I never said it was!" 

"I never said that you did." He pushed his glasses further up his nose at the bridge "Where's your keeper?" 

"Omaru?" The blond nodded "She's finishing some work." 

"I see you two are still in Towa City." He was being a little too nice to her. Maybe he was nicer after fighting and she had just not noticed "How has she been?" 

"Annoying." 

"You're less," he paused "Offensive to the senses so she must be doing something right." 

"I'm th- thanks?" That was the closest thing to a compliment she had received from someone other than Komaru in a while "W- Why are you being so ki- k- nice to me?" 

The heir sighed "Naegi said I should be more cordial and as much as I hate to admit it I respect his opinion. At least in this instance." 

She paused "Then why did you object to a plus one?" How far did his respect go because that didn't seem too far? 

He scowled "I backed off Hina. I can only give that bottom feeder so much." 

"Can I ask what that whole Hina," she paused forgetting the proper word "Spat was about?" 

"I confided in her once and her arrogance has made her believe she understands me on a deeper level." He rolled his eyes at the absent woman's beliefs. 

"W- why her?" She attempted to mask it but her voice still sounded shocked. 

"We are alike in a certain way or  _ were  _ alike. She's somewhat moved on from that shared trait though." 

"That's a cryptic answer." She felt as if nothing had been answered. 

"Yes, that was the point. I don't owe you the full answer." 

That was true. They owed each other nothing in the end. The rope that had bundled them never required them to care for one another let alone remain close friends. That being said they were friends now? Right. Cohorts perhaps, she deserved something  _ more  _ than his answer. 

"D- don't you owe me a secret? From the Syo situation!" She didn't usually push this hard, maybe it was boredom, jealousy, or a need to let her mind fixate on him once more. 

"For an author, you are awful at picking up on context clues." 

"I- I am-" 

"Jesus woman think for once in your life." 

“W- What? I didn't get any clues." 

He rolled his eyes "I won't spell it out for you." 

"Did you ac- actually hate Hina's girlfriend?" 

"Ume is a fine woman if not a little bland. But if you were asking if I had any romantic interest in her the answer is no. I have no vested interest in anyone as of late." 

"Shouldn't you be looking for someone to carry the Togami name on?" 

"Yes but it's not as if I don't have time. My father was forty-five when I was born, I will not be the oldest Togami father." 

"Aren't you lonely?" Five years since the final killing game and him and Yasuhiro were yet to settle a place within the newly formed world. Yasuhiro had never indicated a longing of any sort and he had people outside of the survivors and a family member, that was more than the all of them could say. In all honesty none of them were certain what exactly Hiro was doing. But Togami had no one. Outside of maybe his assistant even within the group of survivors he was only close to Makoto and apparently Hina? 

"I'm Byakuya Togami, I don't get lonely. If I was it's an easy remedy." 

His voice wavered for just a second "I- I don't believe you!" She raised her voice, her body, unprepared, made a shrill noise just at the beginning.

"I will admit, you can truly read me well." 

"Years of obsession pay off." This earned her the closest thing to a laugh she had garnered from Togami. 

"I suppose they do." He pushed his glasses up by the edge of their frame "But my loneliness is the price for my lineage." 

"So you need to be lonely to be a Togami?" 

"I do at least, I doubt my father did or his father. But I have faced challenges greater than the both of them combined in my twenty-six years than they did in their entire life. What's one more?" 

"I d- don't follow."

He scowled once more "Of course you don't." Rolling his eyes he continued "This is the reason I confided in Asahina. For as gullible and naive she is, she at least has something rattling behind her eyes. It helped that she had tangible experience of course." 

Toko's lips formed a small 'o' as she realized just what the context clues had spelled out for her. 

"So you've figured it out." 

"I think," she nodded "I think so." 

"Asahina swore herself to secrecy but I expect I cannot ask the same of you since you enjoy running around telling that yappy girl everything." 

"O- Omaru?" She couldn't help but blush a little "She's not always yappy!" She knew this was a weak defense. 

"True but the Naegis aren't known for their soft voices. Even they must sleep like the rest of us." 

"No that's wrong!" She joked attempting to impersonate at least one of the Naegis. Maybe it wasn't good but it still garnered a laugh from Togami.

This perhaps was their only good interaction the two had ever. Would have ever. 

She gazed out the window catching the sight of a green haired woman strolling just past her destination before her classmate beckoned her. Laughing she posed awkwardly before sitting down next to the fortune teller. 

"It looks like the other Naegi has arrived." It was a short statement "It's odd." 

"What?" 

"Your taste. The only two people I've seen you had interest in is; me and her. We seem to be polar opposites. Makes me wonder what you see in her," with a graceful wrist he swirled his water " _ What you saw in me. _ " The second part of his sentence was near a whisper. 

"Well, Omaru makes me laugh on occasion, that's nice." She felt bad that that was what she had to say at first thought "She's the only one that treats Syo like the separate person I like to think she is. She's so easily excitable she makes me feel like I've written a masterpiece whenever I let her read my drafts. She just makes me happy. She keeps me calm." She gave a small smile, what seemed conservative was rather wide for the woman. 

"Sounds nice."

"For you I don't know what really," she brushed back a strand of her untamed purple hair "The only people I thought loved me were incredibly cruel. I took that as a sign you liked me not as a sign to back off. I got it in my head that if I just pushed hard enough one day you'd love me how I wanted to be loved." 

"How did you want to be loved?" 

"I thought you read my books," she gave a brisk laugh that wasn't returned "I wanted someone who would make our love a song and be proud to sing it. I thought I wanted a handsome man for that and well," she peered through the glass door and couldn't help but smile at the sight of Komaru telling Hiro what could only be one of her ghost stories if Hiro's expression was to be trusted "Life proved me wrong there and proved I didn't have to act the way I did to get love." 

"I wish it would do the same for me." He set his cup down "Void the stalkerish behavior. I never had  _ that  _ issue." 

"You don't need life to throw you a Komaru." He lifted a single eyebrow "You clearly know what you're expecting isn't right. Why wait for someone to void your logic?" Was he that arrogant? 

"My family's name is on the line, my pride is on the line, my career is on the line!" This suggestion was what broke him "If I were to, you know, partner with who I please it would ruin my reputation." She winced at this thought. 

"Is that what you believe? Or what your Father would say?" 

"You don't have the insight into my life to make that assumption." 

"I fixated on you for years I know more about you than anyone." 

"No you don't," he hissed "You know what you want to know. What I'd let you know." 

"I know your father had a harem and no one thought less of him. I know Hina is dating a woman and no one on the IOC thinks less of him. I know that you're too cavalier to care what others think of you. I don't know what changed this." 

"Don't you get it?" The lean man snarled "Loving a man puts all of my plans in danger." She furrowed her brows "I was groomed from birth to continue the Togami name if I don't father a child and marry then what was it all for?" 

"O- oh my G-d who cares?" She had never been so blunt with him it seemed wrong but needed "People think you're a prick either way no one's gonna care that you're dating a man. You're not your father's child anymore if you're not going to be a vessel for Naegi's good intent why be one for a dead man's foul intent?" 

She expected him to lash out,call her an awful name, leave in a huff. Instead he dropped his head and gave one of his half hearted smiles "For once in my life I am inclined to agree with the likes of you." 

"Oh-" he looked up, rather disgusted "I'm sorry I just didn't expect that." 

"Maybe Naegi's 'plus one'" he put heavy air quotes around the plus one "Won't go to waste." 

"Speak of the devil." she murmured as Makoto trotted up to the patio two paper bags in hand grinning widely as he greeted his sister. Then through the large front window he spotted Toko and Byakuya sitting alone together and widened his eyes. This seemed to alert Kyoko as if they could silently communicate and the two attempted to nonchalantly rush in. 

With a miracle the short man managed not to trip on his way in. Neglecting to shred his shoes or coat he nervously smiled at the two "I got dinner." 

"I see that." The heir combed through his hair with his fingers. 

Kyoko wrapped her arm around her fiance's shoulder "How are you two faring?" 

"We're not children, Kirigiri, we can sit in the same room for twenty minutes." 

Catching on late as they always did Yasuhiro and Komaru joined the party "Toki! You good?" 

Her girlfriend gave a curt nod. 

"If you are all done," good to know that when Togami wore his heart on his sleeve he could easily change "Naegi I may be needing that plus one. If you do not mind." 

"Really?" He squeeked, not even receiving an answer "Well okay! Of course Kuya!" 

Over dinner Komaru would finish her ghost story assuring Hiro that no ghosts had bound themselves to him. As she joked she would nudge Toko with her elbow as if to physically force out her laugh. 

When they returned home that night Komaru would fall into bed snoring softly murmuring something she couldn't quite decode. Funny when they had first met in Towa City she had found the girl's sleeping habits annoying. Now she found them somewhat endearing, she found it difficult to focus on her writing without her lover's white noise filling the void soundscape. Just a few years ago that was unimaginable. All of this was. Having someone to return home to was nothing she ever thought to be possible. Not with her neuroses, not with Syo, not with everything she was. But Komaru saw that, saw her cry, her scarred legs, and lifted her a smiling face. Not performative in nature, no she held no malice in her eyes, for the first time someone loved her without expecting anything in return. 

Maybe the performance of a song for love was not enough. She didn't want to be a song sung from the mountain tops. There was something about that showmanship that lacked the genuine connection that she yearned for. Something she had never had but ached for. Something she had now. She didn't want to be a song. She simply wanted to be loved. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How does manifesting work? Idk anyway hope you enjoy Togami is next and I don't know who after oop-


End file.
